Terrified
by SLopez
Summary: After Regionals Finn realizes important things and he's terrified by them.  "You told me to listen to your song carefully." Silence. Huge, deep brown eyes staring straight at him and his soul. "I did."  One-shot! Spoilers!


_Hello there, everybody! :)_

_This is just a little one-shot, based on the song "Terrified" (some of the lyrics are featured here as well)._

_Thanks to my amazing friend/beta Sandra (sandra-wfg for those who don't know... go check her stories, like, now!). Girl, I took your advice and here's the story, published earlier than expected! ;)_

_Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own Glee or its characters. And "Terrified" it's the amazing duet between Katharine McPhee and Zachary Levi *cough**cutiepie**cough* :)_

* * *

**Terrified**

_This could be good, it's already better than that  
And nothing's worse than knowing you're holding back  
I could be all that you needed if you let me try_

_

* * *

_

He remembers watching her singing at Regionals, mesmerized. He also remembers that familiar warmth that started in his chest and spread through his whole body the moment she turned to look at him. And he knows – he _knows_ – what it means. At the time he couldn't focus on it, though. Not when he still had a song to perform and especially not when he could feel Quinn's piercing eyes on his back.

Quinn. He suddenly realizes he should be paying attention to whatever she's saying but he just can't forget the look on _her_ face – not Quinn's – when she felt his arm around her shoulders after their performance.

He shouldn't be thinking of her. Not when Quinn is talking and talking and – guess what? – talking. It's not like he can help it.

He couldn't focus on that feeling that warmed his whole body and soul at Regionals, but he's totally doing it now. He can't shake it off. With all honesty, he doesn't want to. The only problem is that, that feeling? It scares him. He knows it, he's familiar with it, but it terrifies him.

'Queen Bee-otch' – he really shouldn't think about her in these terms and it's another thing he can't control – is talking about prom _again _and he just doesn't give a shit about it or 'being on top', as she constantly reminds him. When she finally realizes he's not listening, she smacks his upper arm and he barely feels it on the outside. It's like Quinn isn't strong enough to leave him with a small bruise. But on the inside, he feels it. And it's a bad feeling. It's shame for being humiliated by her mixed with anger and other awful things he can't pinpoint. So different from Rachel, who managed to almost knock him down, despite her tiny structure, and make him feel dizzy and warm, all at the same time.

"Did you hear anything of what I said?" Quinn asks annoyed, her arms folded tightly against her chest and he just stares blankly at her. She huffs and throws her hands in the air, frustrated. "You're such a waste of time, Finn!"

He opens his mouth before he has the time to think.

"So, why are we dating?"

He can tell she's caught off guard by the way she gapes at him, firstly surprised and then with a silent plea in her green eyes. He knows that she knows she's losing him and he wonders when and if she had ever – like, _really_ – had him.

"You know why," her voice is quiet and sweet but he can feel the coldness behind her words. "We're meant to be on top. Winning our prom king and queen titles is the only way and we _have _to be together to make that happen."

She doesn't say they're meant to be together – Rachel would say that – and can he blame her? No, because he also doesn't believe in that.

She says they're meant to be _on top_. On top of what, _exactly_?

And now he understands that she doesn't actually get the point of being a part of their glee club. Because it's not about being on top – they are equally losers. It's about friendship and making crazy mistakes and being yourself and having fun and laughing at all that stuff in the end. And, sure, she's talking about a completely different thing, but it annoys him! _She_ annoys him!

He knows – he does – that he shouldn't be annoyed with her. After all, he used to be just like that, obsessed with reputation, but he learned. Why hasn't she learned anything yet?

"No. Why are we dating?" It's more a rhetorical question than anything else. Quinn doesn't answer and he's glad. "Exactly. You can't think of a valid reason of why we are together. You know what? Neither can I. And I'm glad I realized this before I made a fool of myself at that stupid prom."

When he turns to leave, she clutches his arm.

"Don't you dare leaving me without a prom date," she hisses and somewhere in his brain he knows he should – he used to – be afraid of her, but he just yanks his arm in a way a gentleman would never do.

"We're over."

As he walks away from her, he can feel her glare and he's surprised to find that he doesn't care, not even a little bit.

Then he sees _her_. And that thing that lives inside his chest and terrifies him, makes his heartbeat speed up, sends butterflies to his stomach and turns his legs into jelly. He's afraid to go talk to her and feels dumb about it. It's not like it's the first time he's going to say something to her, is it? In fact, since Regionals, it is. Coming across with that fact he can only feel more nervous, even though there's no reason to. That's Rachel, for God's sake! He can talk to her about everything!

What if that everything is her?

She spares him the trouble and approaches him. He can tell she's uneasy and wary – probably afraid of Quinn – and he wants to tell her right away that there's no need to.

He doesn't. Instead, when she reaches him and is about to talk, he cuts her word.

"You told me to listen to your song carefully." Silence. Huge, deep brown eyes staring straight at him and his soul. "I did."

He watches as a faint blush creeps onto her cheeks and she stammers something he doesn't bother to pay attention to. And he knows it's a rude thing to do, but he wants answers and she's the only one that can give them.

"You said you meant every word of it," he insists "Did you?"

She simply nods.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"You know what that's supposed to mean, Finn!" Her voice is quiet and genuinely sweet – not like Quinn's – and she stares into his eyes. He can only hold her gaze for a certain time.

"I need to hear it, Rachel. I need to be sure."

She averts her eyes to the floor and he can tell sadness is taking over her.

"You know how I feel about you. It hasn't changed." He has to summon all the strength in his body not to kiss her. "But I think I also deserve some answers, Finn. You can't just take and never give."

His mouth goes dry, instantly. Does she want to know if he really understood what she was singing to him? Yes, he did. Does she want to know if he's still with Quinn? No, he isn't. Does she want to know if he loves her? He never stopped. That's what terrifies him the most. She hurt him so badly and he still loves her with the same intensity, if not more.

She's waiting, hopeful, for an answer to a question that wasn't asked. He doesn't know what he's supposed to say, so he goes for the easiest.

"I'm confused, Rach."

He watches her nod, sadness in her eyes, and he wants to hug her or kiss away her pain. But how hypocritical would that be, right after he tells her he's confused? He's done with being a hypocrite.

"You can't look that way to someone you don't love." Is the last thing she says before turning around and head to whatever class she is taking. And it's like she has been inside his head this whole time – that's another thing that terrifies him.

Before he realizes, it's time for glee rehearsal. He enters the choir room and the only seat available is in the back row, between Puck and Tina. Seconds later, Mr. Schue comes in, says a few words he doesn't pay attention to – he's too busy sneaking glances at _her_ – and asks him to sing a duet with Rachel.

He watches her as she objects, saying since he's with Quinn he should sing the duet with her, but the teacher says that no one has more singing chemistry than the both of them. He wants to stand up and hug Mr. Schue for dear life, but he figures that would be too weird.

He's already in front of the other glee kids when she finally agrees. The teacher hands them the sheet music and he stares at it widely. Is everyone inside his head today?

Before he has the time to think any more, the band starts the first chords of the song and soon Rachel starts singing her part. And when he meets her in the chorus, it's like he can't retain all those bottled up emotions inside him and he pours them all out by singing, just like she taught him.

And so they sing and it reminds him of Regionals last year and '_Faithfully'_ and all that heart and love put into a song.

By the end, he's holding her hand and she has tears rolling down her cheeks and Mr. Schue is saying they just found their duet for Nationals. He looks at her awkwardly and feels suddenly ashamed of how intense this was for him. However, she gives him a teary, reassuring smile.

That's when he realizes that she's just as terrified as he is. Maybe not for the same reasons. Maybe she's terrified because she's not sure that he loves her or maybe she's terrified because she's afraid that she can't get it right again, if she has another chance. Or maybe she's just terrified because she loves him too intensely – just like him. But whatever the reason is, he can see it in her eyes.

And no matter how long it takes for that to happen, he just _knows_, they will be terrified together and then they will _un-terrify_ one another.

* * *

_I only said it 'cause I mean it  
I only mean it 'cause it's true  
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming  
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close  
Whenever I'm without you _

_You said it again, my heart's in motion  
Every word feels like a shooting star  
I'm at the edge of my emotions  
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark  
And I'm in love and I'm terrified  
For the first time and the last time  
In my only life_

_

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_

_So what do you think?_

_Let me know!_

_SLopez_


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